Boris Yegor "EQuail Rights" Podomatsky has had lived out his feathery existence blighted by misfortune. Accompanied by his ever-faithful top hat "Sexy Bitch", Boris was laughed out of kindergarten for not having any pockets, shunned by the opposite sex for insisting on bringing "Sexy Bitch" on dates and booking a separate seat for it on aeroplanes, and denied a place at Oxford University on the grounds that he was "just a fucking quail for God's sake".A lesser quail would have quailed at such adversity (I am so very very sorry. Really I am.) but not Boris. Spurred on by his blind, screaming stupidity and the sweet sweet loving afforded him by his milinary chum, Boris took up the sword of self-rightiousness, the shield of justice and the underpants of bed-wetting and started the campaign that was to earn him his nickname "EQuail Rights".
With the wind at his back (brought on principally by his diet of refried beans and millet) Boris started a dull and uninspired leaflet campaign demanding that Quails receive adequate representation in both Parliament, and the work place.
While this campaign went entirely unnoticed by everyone, it did have one strange side effect. A telemarketing company in Hove was so wracked with guilt at its own singular failure to employ anything not of the Homo Sapiens flavour, that it immediately gave 3 senior marketing executive positions to a travelling trio of giraffes, much to the chagrin of the door frames and ceiling tiles of West Sussex.
In his spare time Boris researches the gambling habits of poultry and the static electricity he creates in dry-humping his, largely felt, "Sexy Bitch" could power one electric eel for approximately 0.385795 seconds.
Please note: This is no way simply a vehicle to allow me to Photoshop a top hat on to a Quail. Just so you know.
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