Name: Anton “Frere” Hutchings-Colossomi
Occupation: Full-time weaver of wicker baskets; Transcendental clay artist; Secretary-general for the Society for the Rights of Nomads and Vagrants; Insurance underwriter
Where: Lives in a converted bus shelter in and around Macclesfield
What: Not a scientist per se, Hutchings-Colossomi has nevertheless been instrumental in several recent, rather astonishing and possibly implausible discoveries. They include:
*being the first retarded person to find the quickest route between Salford and Worksop (a feat that has re-invigorated the once declining trade in exotic spices and dead mice);
*turning ice into water in a lukewarm place (both assisted and unassisted to avoid ambiguity);
*constructing the definitive pie-chart (pictured);
*managing to successfully weld the theory of quantum mechanics to the carburettor of an ageing Fiat Panda;
*the now widely accepted method for genetically manipulating the common (and most recently the rare) lisp (pictured).
Anton is currently working on a self-assembly AirFix kit of the USS Viagara and has plans to expand his renowned wicker basket road show to include certain postcodes in the North East and a brief stop-over in Guernsey
Favourite book: “He’s cool bruv – the hip version of the bible” by Frantz Sudovikamaan
Likes: A hairy back
Dislikes: Diffraction; Soya; Food laced with arsenic; Being called a spazzer (pictured)
Favourite word: Spam (pictured)
In brief: Severely mentally handicapped by his own volition. Approach with due diligence
Occupation: Full-time weaver of wicker baskets; Transcendental clay artist; Secretary-general for the Society for the Rights of Nomads and Vagrants; Insurance underwriter
Where: Lives in a converted bus shelter in and around Macclesfield
What: Not a scientist per se, Hutchings-Colossomi has nevertheless been instrumental in several recent, rather astonishing and possibly implausible discoveries. They include:
*being the first retarded person to find the quickest route between Salford and Worksop (a feat that has re-invigorated the once declining trade in exotic spices and dead mice);
*turning ice into water in a lukewarm place (both assisted and unassisted to avoid ambiguity);
*constructing the definitive pie-chart (pictured);
*managing to successfully weld the theory of quantum mechanics to the carburettor of an ageing Fiat Panda;
*the now widely accepted method for genetically manipulating the common (and most recently the rare) lisp (pictured).
Anton is currently working on a self-assembly AirFix kit of the USS Viagara and has plans to expand his renowned wicker basket road show to include certain postcodes in the North East and a brief stop-over in Guernsey
Favourite book: “He’s cool bruv – the hip version of the bible” by Frantz Sudovikamaan
Likes: A hairy back
Dislikes: Diffraction; Soya; Food laced with arsenic; Being called a spazzer (pictured)
Favourite word: Spam (pictured)
In brief: Severely mentally handicapped by his own volition. Approach with due diligence
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