Louise Croft-Mullerhausen has never been one to take the obvious route to research fame. Fresh out of high-school in 1998, Louise began a journey that would eventually see her rise to the top of the research league in Greater Blackpool. At the age of 43 Louise invented and constructed the 'white plank' (pictured), a feat that landed her an advisory role for the University of Guelglo. Whilst at Guelglo Louise helped develop the theory of 'F', lobbied for the introduction of Twister (tm) fries to the canteen menu and single-handedly reared several marsupials, all of which have since died under near-mysterious circumstances. Following the success of the 'F' theorem and the subsequent demise of the Canadian Alabaster Council, Louise upped roots and got a job working for Norwich Cement and Auditing, a small Devon-based company specialising in artificial birds nests for decorative purposes. During her spell at NCA, Louise accidentally discovered free-form freak out (which would later evolve into what is today know as jazzercise) and helped design the award-winning 'Bald Eagle Concrete Nest, type A3.2'. Based on the premise that concrete and birds DO mix, Louise managed to achieve what no researchers had managed before her; to develop a product which was useful to the general populace of birds (including birds of prey and some dolphins) whilst still retaining some of the idiosyncratic features inherent in concrete.
In the last few years, Louise has settled down in her native Wessex, dividing her time between writing endless letters of complaint to Channel 5 and looking after her 34-year old daughter, Asphyxia.
No comments:
Post a Comment